Chicago White Sox 15, Minnesota Twins 2: Holy (expletive)

A hearty Chicago salami. | Matt Marton / Imagn Images The Twins played shitty! The Windy City has wrecked our hope. Twins played shitty! It’s such a pity; can’t beat the Po-ope!

class="has-text-align-none">Maybe it started With Buxton launching clear; Nothing in any part Would give any cheer. Swinging like a poop haul, One hit into eight, While those Chicagoans Run across the plate!

class="has-text-align-none">Well, Goose can have a Comment Riffing on Green Bay to go, But we remember This team was shitty: The Twins played shitty and now we mope:

class="has-text-align-none">The Twins played shitty! The Windy City has wrecked our hope. Twins played shitty! It’s such a pity; can’t beat the Po-ope!

class="has-text-align-none">Still the teams are playing, Prielipp leaves the game, Bullpen has not been staying White Sox homer flame. Meidroth a salami, Going back to back With Murakami’s twentieth: Gave it quite the crack.

class="has-text-align-none">Nagurski gets a Comment Criticizing play to go, But we remember This team was shitty: The Twins played shitty and now we mope:

class="has-text-align-none">The Twins played shitty! The Windy City has wrecked our hope. Twins played shitty! It’s such a pity; can’t beat the Po-ope!

class="has-text-align-none">It’s just a rotten Wednesday In a rotten set. It wasn’t even so-so, But games aren’t over yet!

class="has-text-align-none">Maybe it’s funny Getting fully crushed; Maybe we’ll laugh it off, The memory flushed. Forget it: they beat us And made us look like fools; Still, they’ve got a game again, Same old set of rules.

class="has-text-align-none">No, I’m not doing the voiceover radio guy. It’s almost midnight. Don’t we remember? (member, member) No, I’m not doing the second half of the voicover either.

class="has-text-align-none">zkonedog gets a Comment Bringing in Oswald-i-bro, But we remember This team was shitty: The Twins played shitty and now we mope:

class="has-text-align-none">The Twins played shitty! The Windy City has wrecked our hope. Twins played shitty! It’s such a pity; can’t beat the Po-ope!

class="has-text-align-none">(aaaaand a whole bunch of repeated chorus lines. man, I wish the literal video version were still on the internet somewhere, that was funny)